Another great poem by Susan.

Poem by Susan Alvarez
copyright 2009

WINDOWS (NO TALKING)

Looking in and looking out
All I've done is scream and shout
Somebody help me, I can't see
What is right in front of me

The broken glass has fallen inside
I can't run and I can't hide
I only run into myself
and so I'm jumping on God's shelf

Where God can get a hold of me
To squeeze me tight and set me free
it's only there that I can breathe
And look at what's inside of me

God take the tweezers, remove the glass
I'm bloody and bleeding and I can't last
Here alone without your grace
I'll die for sure in a lonely place

Why did you let me out of jail
and give me a key on which to impale?
My fears, my doubts and all my lies
I'm all alone and NOW I cry

It hurts so bad inside my soul
Was I better alone and whole?
The pieces they fit and they are sure mine
God, give me some glue of your design

While pieces lie broken, I can't repair
The things of which I am so unaware
So pick them up into the light
and clean me up and make me right

I want to just walk so deep in this life
with none of the tantrums and none of the strife
the silence seems deafening and I just can't hear
So speak very loudly and speak very clear

Your words like milk, to this lonely calf
who's been sent here to love and just laugh
My heart is not broken, it's beating inside
why was I running and why did I hide?

I felt all alone and lost in deep time
I forgot for a moment where I am divine
with cracks in the glass of this windshield called life
it's all an illusion, and sharp as a knife

I'll put down the glass and I won't impale
I'll listen to him and I will exhale
breathe out the fear, the pain and the doubt
Breathe in the love so God screams and shouts

Clear off the rooftop, I'm tall, I can leap
God's made me fearless and given me feet
His legs I can stand on to walk to the light
out of the darkness for His love is right

He lays me down slowly right by the path
returns me to you so I can just laugh
this life is a journey and it never ends
whether we're lovers, family or friends

God He takes nothing to love me this way
He leads to water when I go astray
When I am just lonely alone in the dark
He lights up the candle, He sends me the spark

My soul is on fire and that's real OK
It's warming and lovely, God made me that way
Not scared of the embers that He leaves inside
I don't like the ego and I hate the pride

I'm giving that up so I can just say
it's not what I wanted, I just want to pray
to open this package and unwrap the gift
walk out of Your light as Your love I live

I know I'll be scared, it should be that way
I'm walking the road, I won't go astray
With You there to guide me I can't loose a thing
I am Your puppet, just pull on the string

God thank you for courage to be by myself
I'm climbing back often to You and this shelf
I thought I was lonely up here all alone
But sometimes I need to just come back home

I hear the laugh, it's calling me now
I'm full of your wonder and now I know how
to stop for a moment and just let You in
It's You that is healing, it's me who can win.