Sunday, June 28, 2009

Slowing down to enjoy my gifted life.

I started this blog entry last Thursday, but forgot to finish it. (A friend emailed me asking if I was OK, as I hadn’t written a blog in the last 5 days.) My confession……………I joined FACEBOOK and have been so addicted to it; I neglected my blog (which doesn’t make me, or probably you, happy.)


Since having recently canceled my month long July backpack, I know I made the right decision. Backpacking isn't doing it for me. Not to mention that backpacking is getter harder and harder for me every year. I have also resented not having enough free time for photography (and now golf that I am playing again.). Now I have the time. I am excited again.

Fortunately I have been gifted with this freedom that I am enough….meaning, I am not defined by the oohs and aws anymore that I'd get when I mentioned that I long distance backpacked. I don't have to prove my worth to anyone anymore. All I want to do is do what "I" want to do...And, finally I'm learning what I like, what brings me joy, what is fun. Cupcake once wrote in his CDT backpacking trail journal, "Where is the fun in the day?" I really want to slow down to find and enjoy the fun in my days. Only I stop me. I’ve always been graced with a life I could live anyway I wanted. I think I’m finally ready to retire, just like my husband did 3.5 years ago. Yeah, I too deserve to retire from my own self imposed, quilt driven, work ethic (to prove to you all that even if I don’t have a job, I work). Ray used to comment on my life by saying, "Linda, it doesn't have to be hard to be fun." I have raced through my life trying to be enough.

Even my photos record visually how I race through life. Below is an email I saved from my photo teacher, written after we'd worked together over a year or more. The email reflects her initial perception of me, before she knew me, after initially having viewed my Gottago's Adventure website photos before we started our relationship as teacher/student. So here is the email my teacher wrote after she'd had me in a number of her classes.

"You know what's interesting, Linda, is that when you signed up for

your very first online class and you gave me your website address, I

could tell IMMEDIATELY from your pictures that you needed to slow

down, to take a deep breath and think before clicking the shutter.

Knowing that when I did, so early in the game, I feel I've been remiss

in not pointing it out to you often enough throughout the online

classes and in the two in-the-field workshops you've taken. Better

late than never, I guess, but yeah, I can remember the "this woman

needs to slow down" flash going through my brain from the very beginning.

This doesn't just apply to you, however. We ALL need to slow down and

think before we shoot. Why are we taking this shot? What do we like

about the scene? What's the light doing? Are there weird things in the

background? Are there ugly hot spots that will ruin the picture?

Where's the movement in this scene? Am I including too much? Not

enough? Would this be better as a vertical? What's my ISO? Is my

exposure compensation dial accidentally still set to 3 stops

underexposed from the last shot? And much, much, more . . . Sometimes

I'm amazed we ever get around to clicking the shutter!"

I need help in slowing down. It’s NOT easy for me. I just signed up for another online photography class with Carol Leigh. Hopefully this class with keep me accountable with taking time and seeing.

1 comment:

Carol Leigh said...

Ah yes, I seem to recall someone mentioning that it wasn't enough for you to be driving your car along the winding roads from Santa Fe to Taos, but you had to be FILING YOUR NAILS at the same time! Multitasking? Or sheer insanity? Looking forward to our next class. -- Carol Leigh