And yet another poem by Susan.

I'm Dying
by Susan Alvarez
(copyright 2009)

I’m Dying

Moments of despair that crash like a wave
I can’t tell if I am sane or depraved
Thoughts of you run so deep through my mind
It feels so bad as if God were unkind

How could you leave me here all alone
You promised a life with God and a home
I can’t shake the feeling this is a mistake
Take me dear God just give me a break

The love that I feel it has no where to go
As if my world’s broken and the speed’s set to slow
I’m scared and I’m angry, I’m sad and depressed
I want to stay covered so deep in my bed

Please send me some strength so I can live on
I feel weak and so helpless I wish I were strong
This is a nightmare and I can’t wake up
It’s all an illusion, I guess that I’m stuck

The tears run so freely and stream down my face
I’m lonely and hungry for your sweet embrace
I can’t seem to find you as hard as I look
Where have you gone leaving me on this hook

Just break my heart open like an egg on the floor
Let the pain ooze out oh please let it pour
I think I am loosing my feelings, myself
My world was so full now I feel there’s no wealth